On This Day
On this day. A year into our marriage. We left our baby boy alone overnight for the first time at 7 months old. Albeit he had his Nanny (grandmother, not as in hired) stayed over our flat and cuddled him and got him into our bed when he needed it just as we would. I stole two pain au chocolate for her to have with a cuppa from the hotel to show my appreciation, We got rest and we were happy and for a day, I was a better wife for having slept.
Meanwhile someone in our family was having a difficult labour. It worried us for the whole weekend. A concerning ache like a bad tooth randomly striking out. But not caused by sweetness.
I recognized somebody I knew. She is pregnant. I wanted to say hello but she had just bought a burger I think and I did not want to come between a pregnant lady and her eagerly awaited lunch. So me and Rob just agreed we were happy for the couple and let them go their way.
The sun shone. not as bright as the 21st May 2015 but certainly brighter than the 21st of May 2016 in which it rained and poured. Which was fine because the umbrella I bought for the wedding was classy AF.
On this day. At a park with family we walked for an hour under dappled leaves. We wondered if the Tories would finally piss off. We got hot walking and tried to predict when the baby would be born. But we also tried to predict who would sunburn first. My beautiful Leonard fell asleep in his carrier with his mouth open. Me and my husband couldn't believe we woke up in a hotel room alone, to suddenly this hectic park eating chips and trying to keep the group optimistically walking together over slippy ground until we reached a playground. We got to the park. It was half sunken under a flood of murky brown water. Children played on dry land on swings and patiently took turns on the only available metal frames and slides. As I fed Leo, children, began getting closer and closer to the shitty muck . I remembered as a child myself the rumour mill of the 'dirty park' .
I cringed at little feet splashing on craggy ground. They had torn down the turret and slide I used to scrape hands and knees on, but the place was still rough enough. A feral little tot tried to follow older ones to the temporary gross pond. SPLASH. Down. Like most his age who run full force with excitement. We all waited for a parent to come swoop him up. We expected a funny mum run or dad sprint coupled with an exaggerated "OH DEAR" and maybe some tears. Didn't happen. What a brave boy I thought. But no one came. He flung himself around the soup of stones, twigs and bird feces again and again. What a free spirit. Wild child. Other kids- bigger kids laughed at his antics whilst kicking their legs from swings into the water. He giggled, he roared, fell some more. His older siblings trying to play their own games bashfully but dutifully re tied his soggy shoes then let him be. Crazy boy. Having so much fun. Would Leo be that outrageous? He fell again. Laying down in the water. Surely he's done it now. Maybe a mad parent who cant bare the thought of his filthy body getting the car seats wet on the way home. Still no one came. His drenched hair glittered in the sun that was bright. Not as bright as the 21st May 2015 but certainly brighter than the 21st of May 2016.
The boy started to get tired and irritated. He tugged on his swollen nappy. Oh. Just a baby. He was still full of energy but similar to the energy my 7 month old has when its bedtime and hes hysterically laugh crying at Iggle Piggle. His limp limbs got more and more tired. He lingered with his nose and mouth submerged. He fell near a boulder. I gasped at the thought of his little head cracking as he submerges into a sludgy brown demise. Parents twitched all around watching aghast. I waded in after him. Laced up boots filling up with stagnant filth. Denim soaking up and chafing. I approached the tot like any adult awkwardly approaches a strange child.
He joyfully squealed and splatted some mud.
He still ignored me. So I went the next step further and did the universal clap hands to open arms every child knows as "I will carry you". He put his little arms up. Little arms like my niece holds up. A little expectant expression like my son gives me. A call to action. In my arms he shivered. Tiny chin chattering tiny teeth. A little whimper. Grit in beautiful eyes. My mouth twitched as I threatened to cry. My husband later admitted he did a tiny cry behind his sunglasses. I stripped him off in the sunshine as his siblings approached with the sad gesture of a new nappy. Ha. Are they serious? WHERE ARE THE PARENTS THAT GAVE THEM THAT NAPPY. My Sister in Law rallied round with a fleece baby blanket, Another mum ran over with her own blanket. Poor boy. The older siblings tried to take him, No, I said. This is our job as Mothers. Two of us delivered him to his parents. Shocked but placid. More embarrassed I think. The older siblings got chastised for being bad guardians. Obviously. Did they give a shit? I'm still not sure. I wanted to be angry. I wish I shouted "He nearly drowned" but I couldn't. I just blurted that he was cold and tired and scared and he needed to get warm and dry. They tended to him. I went back to the park and a group of concerned parents all exchanged sentiments of shock and horror over the situation. All seconds away from wading in themselves. How many times do people watch but not do? I nearly didn't. Don't ever be too embarrassed to help. We were relieved but I have worried about it all day. On top of other worries.
On this day my headphones did a 60 degree wash and survived.
On this day friends and family and new people met wished us a happy anniversary all day and it made us feel so loved.
On this day, I think.. I'm not sure... But maybe, just as we brush our teeth before bed, the baby is now born.
Meanwhile someone in our family was having a difficult labour. It worried us for the whole weekend. A concerning ache like a bad tooth randomly striking out. But not caused by sweetness.
I recognized somebody I knew. She is pregnant. I wanted to say hello but she had just bought a burger I think and I did not want to come between a pregnant lady and her eagerly awaited lunch. So me and Rob just agreed we were happy for the couple and let them go their way.
The sun shone. not as bright as the 21st May 2015 but certainly brighter than the 21st of May 2016 in which it rained and poured. Which was fine because the umbrella I bought for the wedding was classy AF.
On this day. At a park with family we walked for an hour under dappled leaves. We wondered if the Tories would finally piss off. We got hot walking and tried to predict when the baby would be born. But we also tried to predict who would sunburn first. My beautiful Leonard fell asleep in his carrier with his mouth open. Me and my husband couldn't believe we woke up in a hotel room alone, to suddenly this hectic park eating chips and trying to keep the group optimistically walking together over slippy ground until we reached a playground. We got to the park. It was half sunken under a flood of murky brown water. Children played on dry land on swings and patiently took turns on the only available metal frames and slides. As I fed Leo, children, began getting closer and closer to the shitty muck . I remembered as a child myself the rumour mill of the 'dirty park' .
"So and so went kayaking there and got a rash all over"
"My friends dog drank the water and died"
"There was a dead body found there one morning" (I think did actually happen)
I cringed at little feet splashing on craggy ground. They had torn down the turret and slide I used to scrape hands and knees on, but the place was still rough enough. A feral little tot tried to follow older ones to the temporary gross pond. SPLASH. Down. Like most his age who run full force with excitement. We all waited for a parent to come swoop him up. We expected a funny mum run or dad sprint coupled with an exaggerated "OH DEAR" and maybe some tears. Didn't happen. What a brave boy I thought. But no one came. He flung himself around the soup of stones, twigs and bird feces again and again. What a free spirit. Wild child. Other kids- bigger kids laughed at his antics whilst kicking their legs from swings into the water. He giggled, he roared, fell some more. His older siblings trying to play their own games bashfully but dutifully re tied his soggy shoes then let him be. Crazy boy. Having so much fun. Would Leo be that outrageous? He fell again. Laying down in the water. Surely he's done it now. Maybe a mad parent who cant bare the thought of his filthy body getting the car seats wet on the way home. Still no one came. His drenched hair glittered in the sun that was bright. Not as bright as the 21st May 2015 but certainly brighter than the 21st of May 2016.
The boy started to get tired and irritated. He tugged on his swollen nappy. Oh. Just a baby. He was still full of energy but similar to the energy my 7 month old has when its bedtime and hes hysterically laugh crying at Iggle Piggle. His limp limbs got more and more tired. He lingered with his nose and mouth submerged. He fell near a boulder. I gasped at the thought of his little head cracking as he submerges into a sludgy brown demise. Parents twitched all around watching aghast. I waded in after him. Laced up boots filling up with stagnant filth. Denim soaking up and chafing. I approached the tot like any adult awkwardly approaches a strange child.
"Oh you mucky boy shall we go over to see your mummy and daddy?"
He joyfully squealed and splatted some mud.
"EW yucky mucky c'mon then"
On this day my headphones did a 60 degree wash and survived.
On this day friends and family and new people met wished us a happy anniversary all day and it made us feel so loved.
On this day, I think.. I'm not sure... But maybe, just as we brush our teeth before bed, the baby is now born.
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